In Jewish tradition, it is customary to become a bar or bat mitzvah to signify becoming an adult.
The ancient ceremony signals the first time a 12- or 13-year-old will start reading from the Torah and leading one’s congregation. But what if you’re a grown-up finally trying to complete this Jewish rite of passage? That’s the premise of “Between the Temples,” Jason Schwartzman’s new movie about a widowed cantor who reconnects with his elementary school music teacher to help her have an adult bat mitzvah.
The film, which comes out August 23, joins a genre of various b’nai mitzvah films that track that awkward, uncomfortable, and rewarding stage of becoming a Jewish adult. Here are Unpacked’s top picks for bar and bat mitzvah movies:
- “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” (2023)
Based on Fiona Rosenbaum’s 2005 book of the same name, “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” follows Stacy (Sunny Sandler) as she navigates middle school and planning the perfect bat mitzvah party (and learning her torah portion of course).
But when best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) seemingly betrays her by kissing her crush, Stacy struggles with keeping up with her bat mitzvah studies, and instead focuses on revenge. Co-starring Sunny’s father Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel as Stacy’s parents (along with her real-life mom Jackie Sandler as Lydia’s mother), this film encompasses the confusion and anxiety that accompanies middle school and the responsibility of becoming an adult.
Bonus points for Rabbi Rebecca, played with hilarity and quirkiness by “Saturday Night Live’s” Sarah Sherman.
- “Cha Cha Real Smooth” (2022)
Cha cha sliding into number two is “Cha Cha Real Smooth.” Cooper Raiff plays Andrew, a recent college graduate who becomes the “jig master” for the various bar and bat mitzvahs in his New Jersey hometown, helping people to get out on the dance floor and have a good time. But when he meets Domino (Dakota Johnson) and her daughter Lola (Vanessa Burghart), Andrew begins to fall for her and must decide where he wants his future to go.
Also directed by Raiff and co-starring Leslie Mann and Israeli actress Odeya Rush, “Cha Cha Real Smooth” explores the challenges of post-grad life and the complexities of Jewish adulthood, delving into how reality can feel more daunting than the innocence of adolescence, even years after becoming a bar mitzvah.
- “Mabul (The Flood)” (2011)
In “Mabul (The Flood),” Israeli director Guy Nattiv (“Golda”) tells the story of Yona (Yoav Rotman), a 12-year-old boy preparing for his bar mitzvah and becoming a man. Amidst learning his torah portion (the title refers to the parshat of Noah’s ark), reminding his parents to pay for the caterer, and facing bullies at school, his autistic older brother Tomer (Michael Moshonov) returns home. As Yona tries to be his brother’s keeper, he struggles to balance everything, including his rabbi’s expectations.
Rotman’s performance as Yona alone makes this film powerful. He takes on so many responsibilities, acting like an adult already. But it’s watching him bond with Tomer, particularly over his haftorah, that showcases just how much Jewish tradition and culture can connect us and the beauty in a b’nai mitzvah. Warning: you may cry watching this!
- “Keeping Up with the Steins” (2006)
“Keeping Up with the Steins” follows Benji Fiedler (Daryl Sabara) as he prepares for his bar mitzvah.
Stressed about his father’s (Jeremy Piven) desire to outdo the Stein family’s lavish bar mitzvah party, Benji invites his estranged grandfather (Garry Marshall), much to his father’s chagrin. As his father and grandfather struggle with reconnecting, Benji must decide what he really wants and finally make adult choices about what he wants for his future.
In the canon of bar and bat mitzvah films, this one is funny (and very 2006) and very Jewish (spoiler alert: there’s a Neil Diamond cameo!), while also being one of the few films on this list that is about a child who doesn’t care about the party.
- “Broken Bird” (2020)
Directed by Rachel Harrison Gordon, this short film follows biracial-Jewish tween Birdie (Indigo Hubbard-Salk) as she attempts to study for her bat mitzvah and reconnect with her father (Chad L. Coleman). Stuck between two different cultures and struggling to find her place, Birdie tries to find a middle ground.
At a running time of 10 minutes, “Broken Bird” provides a short window into the experience of following a tradition while feeling like an outsider. Rarely do we see representations of Jewish women of color and in the context of a bat mitzvah, it’s about trying to keep the faith when you’re not sure where you fit in. Birdie’s story isn’t just about becoming a woman but the anxiety that comes with following expectations or breaking them.
- “Sixty Six” (2006)
“Sixty Six” tells the story of Bernie Rubens (Gregg Sulkin) as he attempts to finally get his family’s attention at his Bar Mitzvah, which coincides with the 1966 World Cup Final.
Based on the real-life experiences of director Paul Weiland, often-ignored Bernie’s dreams for a lavish bar mitzvah are killed when his parents’ business shutters and England makes the World Cup. Unsure of where he belongs when all of his bar mitzvah guests make excuses not to come, Bernie must come to terms that he can find happiness even in the most dire of situations.
Sulkin, who went on to find fame on “Wizards of Waverly Place” shines in his film debut, alongside Jewish actress Helena Bonham-Carter.
- “13: The Musical” (2022)
Based on Jason Robert Brown’s 2008 Broadway production (which originally starred Ariana Grande and Liz Gillies), “13: The Musical,” follows Evan Goldman (Eli Golden) as he moves to Indiana from New York City with his newly-divorced mom (Debra Messing) just before his bar mitzvah.
Fearing social suicide, Evan asks his new friend Patrice (Gabriella Uhl) to help him plan the perfect party. However, things run awry at Evan’s new school when he attempts to become friends with the popular kids and must help mean girl Lucy (Frankie McNellis) get what she wants. While the film has been updated from its original Broadway run (lyrics have been changed and songs have been added), it’s still fun to watch, especially with Josh Peck portraying the rabbi and Rhea Perlman as Evan’s iconic Jewish grandmother.
- “The Outside Chance of Maximilian Glick” (1988)
In this Canadian film, Maximilian Glick (Noam Zylberman) is a whip-smart 12-year-old who plays the piano and is preparing for his bar mitzvah. But when a new rabbi (Saul Rubinek) comes to town, he teaches Maximilian about the real meaning of becoming a bar mitzvah and the values of being a Jewish adult.
Despite the film being close to 40 years old, it feels timeless in its love and care for Judaism. Maximilian is incredibly articulate and lovable as he navigates his overbearing family and first crushes. Once again, this is a film that focuses less on the party and more on family and the importance of tradition.
Originally Published Aug 23, 2024 10:00AM EDT
