At the beginning of this season of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” veteran cast member Meredith Marks announced that she wanted to have a bat mitzvah ceremony. For most Jews, this coming-of-age ritual takes place when someone is 12 or 13. But Meredith explained that in her family, it had been a tradition reserved only for the men. She chose to become a bat mitzvah not only to reaffirm her personal connection to her Judaism, but also in response to rising global antisemitism.
Meredith first announced her decision in the second episode of the season, “Walking a Tightrope.” She told her husband Seth over shakshuka. She explained that she never had a strong desire to have a ceremony until recently. She even recalled that her husband had encouraged her to undergo the bat mitzvah process when their daughter was doing hers, but at the time Meredith declined the offer. The scene was incredibly emotional, as both Meredith and her husband teared up. “There’s not a lot of Jews in this world. This is you saying ‘hey, I’m Jewish,’” Seth said, expressing his pride at his wife’s decision.
Over the next few episodes, Meredith was shown studying the Hebrew prayers and her Torah portion with her rabbi and by herself (including in her favorite place, a bathtub). Finally, in Episode 12 titled “Mazal, Meredith,” the big event arrived. In true dramatic Housewife style, the Marks family arrived at the venue in a horse-drawn sleigh — to ensure that the event was “a slay.”
A ‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’ affair like no other
The show’s other cast members were excited for the event, although many of them were experiencing a bat mitzvah for the first time. Utah does not have a large Jewish population (recent estimates sit around 6,500) and is primarily known as the center for Mormonism. One cast member, Heather Gay, explained that she grew up in Denver and had been to many bar and bat mitzvahs. She greeted Meredith by shouting “Mazel Tov.” Fellow cast member Whitney Rose, a former Mormon, then asked “Is that what you say?” and Meredith explained that the phrase means “congratulations” in Hebrew.
On “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” many of the housewives are current or former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints , and all but Meredith are Christian. The show has featured Mormon events before, and it was exciting for me as a Jewish viewer to see Meredith helping expose her friends to Judaism. A 2014 survey by the Anti-Defamation League found that 74% of American respondents had never met a Jewish person.
While there have been Jewish cast members on other Real Housewives cities, this was the first on-camera Bat Mitzvah of one of them. Meredith’s decision was one motivated by growing antisemitism, which is something that any Jewish person with a public platform is unfortunately exposed to.
Antisemitism and reality TV
In 2022, Lizzy Savetsky began filming as a cast member of “The Real Housewives of New York,” but made the decision to leave the show shortly after filming started. Savetsky said in an Instagram post that she chose to quit after receiving a barrage of antisemitism attacks, which made her realize it was not the best path forward for her family. It is a sobering reminder that although antisemitism has sharply increased since last year’s Oct. 7 massacre in Israel, it has always been a problem for Jews in the public eye.
In October, I wrote about a bar mitzvah scene in Marvel’s “Agatha All Along.” Although that brought me joy, it didn’t compare to the emotion I felt watching Meredith’s bat mitzvah ceremony because it was actually happening to her. There was no mistaking Meredith’s reasons not only for becoming a bat mitzvah but also for bringing her journey into the storyline of the show. In a time of antisemitism, she chose to embrace her Jewish identity publicly, and as an adult woman when most bar or bat mitzvah students are children. Watching Meredith celebrate with family and friends and seeing the pride on their faces as they witnessed a proud Jewish woman celebrating her faith and her heritage was incredibly beautiful.
Bravo and “The Real Housewives” franchise are sometimes maligned as trashy television. And while most of the show centers around friendship drama and infighting among women with the kind of larger-than-life personalities that thrive on camera, there can also be moments of true tenderness and connection. The Housewives are people, too, and the night ending with security escorting Meredith’s frenemy and fellow Housewife Angie out of the party (to quote the woman herself, “You can leave!”)) doesn’t diminish the significance of Meredith’s big day. If anything, I think it made the Jewish representation of a bat mitzvah more normal, in the best way. A bat mitzvah is a ceremony, followed by a party. And the Housewives of Salt Lake City did what they do best at parties: drama.
I’m certainly biased, but Meredith is one of my favorite Housewives. There is nothing I love to see on TV more than strong Jewish women choosing to celebrate their faith and heritage.
And if anyone is looking to get me a Hanukkah present, I will not-so-subtly refer you to Bravo’s incredible selection of RHOSLC merch featuring some of Meredith’s iconic quotes. My only request is that they make a sweatshirt giveaway from her bat mitzvah that I can purchase and wear every day of my life.
